Life as it is...

Yes, life is difficult. We all know this, to make this choice or that? I believe that is the question. I have recently begun to think about the choices I have made and if that choice was good or bad. Of course there are some choices I think what if? It would have changed so much if I would have married that man, or even dated him longer than I did. Life could be so different. Not that life could be so much better, or worse, but most surely different. Without my marrying someone prematurely I have actually purchased not only my own car, but my own home. I have successfully purchased a home as a 29 year old single girl! I actually find that quite an accomplishment. If I was living in Jane Austins time that would be unheard of. During these times it was considered appropriate to marry someone who was perhaps detestable in certain ways but financially viable in order to live out a somewhat comfortable life although painful in others. I think I have chosen the opposite of those. I am financially independent but solely single in every other aspect. Which is better? I am happy not to have to deal with another person that I cannot stand, but I am a little sad to go to bed solo. But as I have again come to the break-up status of a rather prominent boyfriend in my life I have determined it is better for me not have rushed into a marriage with a man that could ultimately backfire on me. My choice to carefully weigh does this man prove himself worthy of me? I find him wanting. If he wanted me, he would want me right?